Legion, Lana, Lost

I don't know if I was in fanboy bliss for the past week or not, but I realized that I never posted my thoughts about the latest episode of Smallville titled "Legion". The episode was written by comic book genius Geoff Johns. Usually the opposite happens, the comic companies enlist writers from Hollywood. This time Hollywood went to the source, and it works well. The Legion of Super-heroes are a group of teenage heroes from the 31st century that were inspired in to action from the many adventures of Superman. So it is only fitting that they should appear on Smallville. This marks the Legion's first live appearance, and it did not disappoint. From the accurate portrayal of the group, to the subtle references, to the little jabs that were made at the show (no tights, no flight), this was a very entertain hour of television.

For all the praise I can give this show, there is one thing that was really bothering me. Lana Lang. She walked out of Clark's and everybody else's lives at the end of last season. Due to some reason or another she is back on the show for a few episodes. I'm pretty sure this is what Mary Jane Watson-Parker asked Mephisto for at the end of One More Day, because I believe Lana to be a spawn of the devil. I have never liked this character, not on the show nor in the comics. A little history on Ms. Lang. She is the high school sweetheart of Clark Kent. Realizing that he has much to offer the world, Clark leaves Smallville, becomes Superman, saves the universe here and there, marries Lois Lane, and basically moves on with his life. Lana, however, does not. Since she can't have Clark, she marries his best friend Pete Ross. They have a child together and she names him Clark. Yeah, you see where this is going. Through wacky comic book stuff, Pete eventually becomes the President of the United States. Shortly after leaving office, the Ross's get a divorce. Lana goes on to try and sabotage Lois and Clark's marriage several times, only to fail each time. Then out of more wacky comic book logic, she somehow becomes CEO of Lexcorp, while the former CEO has been running around playing mad scientist. Anyway, Lana was terminated from her Lexcorp position for violating rule #1 "No Helping Superman". This is Lana's life, so imagine my surprise when, on the show, Saturn Girl tells Lana she's going to go on to bigger and better things. Really? Saturn Girl might be from the future but she's also a liar. She has been chasing the coattails of powerful men her whole life. Clark Kent, Pete Ross, and Lex Luthor. To say that she will do better things than Lex Luthor, okay I'll give you that one. To say she'll be better than the President of the U.S., that is kind of pushing it. To say she will do more than Superman, that is unbelievable. There is nothing she can do or will ever do that will be greater than Superman. The highlight of her life is that she was his first love. Period. She also told Saturn Girl that she would never ask Clark to kill anyone, yet she basically torn Clark a new one because he refused to kill Lex. Not to mention that she married and divorced Luthor all before she even turned 21! Is that her big contribution to society? That she's a statistic? The sooner this chick is off the show, the better.

Now on to the season premier of Lost! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I love this show. Mad props go out to the writers, who obviously do a vast amount of research on just their own continuity alone. In the two-hour premier there were segments that took place in the past, present, and future and none of it was hard to follow. Ladies and gentlemen, in one of the few times ever in cinema or even genre related items, time travel was handled correctly! The angel choirs were singing, fireworks were exploding in the air, and lil' Timmy regained a hope. I am completely on board for this season, and excited to see where it is heading.

Hulk and Final Crisis

As you can see, I have removed Hulk from my pull list. Many factors went in to this decision. I have not hidden my distaste for Jeph Loeb's "writing" style. The Little Engine That Couldwas more complex than this garbage. Plus, Marvel is raising the price on Hulk! That's like charging rent to prison inmates. So I have decided to make an escape. I won't be coming back to serve the rest of my sentence til Loeb is no longer on the title. R.I.P. Hulk, we hardly knew ye.

Speaking of R.I.P.....I picked up Final Crisis #6 today. Okay first off, Grant Morrison should never be allowed to write comic books again! Unless he goes to work for Marvel. Second off, other than the Supergirl vs Mary Marvel (which Morrison had been hyping up), can anyone tell me if I missed something in the solict.

Written by Grant Morrison; Art and covers by J.G. Jones and Carlos Pacheco and Jesus Merino
As the entire world turns against them, the last of Earth's Super Heroes must face the unstoppable power of the Gods of Apokolips for the final time. Supergirl vs. Mary Marvel! Superman vs. Darkseid! The fate of the Flash! And the incredible return of the New Gods! The End of Days has come and the ultimate war between good and evil will at last be decided on the battlefield of a broken world!

And as the skies bleed, as the walls between universes crumble and fall, the ultimate threat to life makes its presence felt as an evil beyond imagining arrives to claim its prize. Mandrakk the Dark Monitor is coming and the DC Multiverse will never be the same again!

NONE OF THIS HAPPEND! Good-freakin-gravy! Is there a game plan, or does Morrison change his mind as he goes along? I've speculated that he changed the end of R.I.P., but this takes the cake. I understand and respect throwing out red herrings to the fans to let them ponder over. Speculation is a fun part of comics. These aren't red herrings though, he is flat out lying! Have some respect for the people that help pay your bills.

Wanted

I didn't get a chance to see Wanted when it came out this summer. Mainly due to the fact that I was spending most of my money on multiple views of The Dark Knight. I had never read the comic that the movie is based on even though I am a fan of Mark Millar. His run on Spider-Man was amazing, spectacular, and sensational. Civil War got me excited about the Marvel Universe, plus Captain America was a total BAMF in that story. So I guess you could say that I wanted to see this. Yeah I know, that one even hurt me. Deal with it.

It arrived in my netflix today after a very long waiting time. Wanted is about a group of assassins that formed 1,000 years ago called The Fraternity. They receive assignments through hidden codes inside tapestries. Binary code mind you. Targets are decided by fate, therefore the assassins do not question whether this person deserves to live or die. Wesley, an accountant, is recruited in to The Fraternity when his estranged father, who was also a Fraternity member, is apparently killed by a rogue assassin. Wesley is then trained to become the perfect assassin and take out his father's killer. Wackiness and hi jinks ensue.

I am going to give this movie a sandwich review. For those that are unfamiliar with the term it is when you start and end with a positive but the middle is negative.

Positive: The special fx were awesome! Everything from the car flips and chases to the bullets curving and smashing in to each other. It felt very Matrixie, but at the same time unique enough to be its own thing.

Negative: What the piss? Was this seriously based on something Mark Millar wrote? Good gravy this was awful! The main character, Wesley, not only embraces his father's profession, but passionately wants to avenge his death. This is for a man that he hasn't seen since he was seven days old! Not only that, but in a span of six weeks Wesley is trained to be one of the top assassins. Really? It only takes six weeks? I'm going to school for communications right now. I'm told the total time until I receive my B.A. is roughly four years. I guess if I took a specific vocation such as assassination, I could be on my way to a high paying career in as little as six weeks. My favorite part of the movie was when Wesley was chasing his father's killer on a crowded train only for the train to derail as it is going over a bridge. Here's where it gets tricky. Train cars are falling down the canyon and apparently all the passengers escaped somehow. I came to this conclusion because no one was in any of the cars except Wesley, the killer, and Angelina Jolie! Ridiculous! There were some twists and turns that happened, but I won't spoil that here. I honestly don't think I would even pick this up on Free Comic Book Day.

Positive: uh....let's see....I already mentioned the special fx....um...Angelina Jolie is nice to look at.

R.I.P.

Happy New Year! How is everyone’s year going so far? I just discovered Apple Chai over at Starbucks so I love life right now. Recently, a friend of mine asked about my thoughts on the whole Batman R.I.P. storyline. So, let’s have the first post of 2009 be about Batman.

You either love Grant Morrison or you don’t, there does not seem to be any in between with this guy. To be honest, R.I.P. was extremely hard for me to read on a monthly basis. The deliver schedule was out of whack, and each issue only gave you bits and pieces of the whole story, sort of like Final Crisis. The day before I got the final chapter of R.I.P. I decided to sit down and read the first five parts all the way through. What a difference that made! Monthly comics do not do Morrison’s work justice. This man definitely writes comics like you’re reading the whole story in one sitting. However, I’m pretty sure that he changed the ending of this story at the last minute, because I remember him promising some big reveal in R.I.P. that didn’t seem to happen. Instead this is what we got.

Dr. Hurt: “I’m really your father.”

Batman: “No, you’re not.”

Dr. Hurt: “You’re right, but I had to try to fool you one more time.”

Really? That’s what you were planning from the beginning? That Dr. Hurt wasn’t really Thomas Wayne? You know who else isn’t Thomas Wayne? Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, Robin, Lois Lane, my downstairs neighbor, and I’m willing to bet most of the characters in the DCU. The story possibilities are endless. Not only is Dr. Hurt not Thomas Wayne, but the final confrontation between Hurt and Batman ends in a helicopter explosion. Going back to basics, Grant? I know that you’re a better writer than this. We learn that Batman survives the explosion and that R.I.P takes place right before Final Crisis, which is where we’ll learn the true fate of Batman. So what was the point of R.I.P.? He didn’t die in R.I.P., he didn’t retire in R.I.P. Nope, he fought and beat a bad guy, went back to the Batcave, and then went on his next mission helping the Justice League. Does it stand for Reading Is Pointless?

Anyway, as of this month Bruce Wayne is no longer Batman. I have mixed feelings about this. Bruce Wayne is my favorite character of all time. He IS Batman. Anybody else would just be someone wearing a Batman costume. So this sucks for me, but at the same time I love forward movement in comics. The only problem with that is that eventually the forward movement gets reversed. Hal Jordan was brought back. Barry Allen was just brought back.

*Side note* that one irks me more than anything. Did everybody forget that Barry had the personality of a gnat? Or that The Flash was actually cancelled way before his death in the first Crisis? People long for what they had as a child and moan and groan, “Barry Allen was the greatest Flash ever.” That’s crap! It was been proven time and time again that Wally West is the greatest Flash ever.

So this whole Battle For The Cowl thing seems like it could be pretty cool. It better be since they cancelled Robin, Nightwing, and Birds of Prey. Not sure why BoP was cancelled since I can’t see Oracle being too convincing as Batman. It appears that Nightwing is being groomed for the position. It would seem fitting that the hero’s first sidekick would come back and take on the mantle of his mentor after his mentor’s “death”. I have the strangest feeling that I’ve already read this somewhere else though. I do think it’s a marvelous idea though. *shifty eyes*

All in all, this should be a fun ride. My expectations are really high, and that can be a really bad thing with comics: Secret Invasion anyone?